At Peace and Happy

So my ex and I ended for real today. Its been coming for a long time and something that really needed to happen, for both of us to be happy. I spent two years with Sam and I don't regret them at all. Everything I have gone through and that we went through together helped me grow as a person and made me better than I was before he came into my life. I think we will speak again because I don't cut people out completely, I just leave them in the background. He will always be my first love, and I will always care for him because of that. However, we both know that because of who we are, a relationship between us cannot work. While it is hard to let go and really grasp right now that he is gone, I feel happy and at peace. We ended exactly how I had envisioned and hoped for, and it gave me great relief and joy. He stayed the night because I asked him to, he put me first for once and stayed for me. So we woke up together peacefully and close, and said our goodbyes outside the door. I said everything that I needed to, and even though I almost forgot, the last thing I said was as I was shutting the door I peeped back out the door and put my hand to the side of my mouth like a secret and said "Hey!" and he looked back and I said "I love you." Then he smiled and said, "I love you too." I couldn't have asked for a better ending, and it happened because I am ready to let go and have a new beginning, and he finally showed me in the end that he did care about me. He cared enough to stay last night and sleep with me because I did not want to wake up alone and know he had left me. That meant so much to me, definitely a key moment and decision that I will never forget. Emotionally loaded sex last night was not what I planned for, but I'm glad it happened, we left everything on a good note. Despite his flaws and how much he pissed me off, he is a great person. Yes he can be insensitive and a "douche," but I loved him and because of that I will always look at him in an endearing light. I see his good qualities and all that he has to offer, he just needs time to mature and to find someone that communicates like he does, and will love him unconditionally for who he is. It is exactly the same for me. I am only 18 and have a long way to go. This relationship brought me some of the greatest joy of my life. I will miss you Sam. I am happy we could part this way. Maybe our story isn't over, but for now goodbye. I love you.

p.s. those throwback songs last night!!