Leaving You Behind

So I'm reluctant to write because I'm lazy, but there needs to be an update. So my love and I fully called it quits on thursday. He said he didn't see a future as of right now and didn't want to continue dating and also that he needed time apart to see if he missed me. Deep down it hurts, but I know how he feels because when I had Hefe I was about to completely cut ties with him. I thought I was over him. But in reality when Hefe disappeared all of the feelings for him came rushing back. I am still in love with Schooby. I think it will fade and one day I will be extremely distanced with no return, but the love is still very strong for me. In a way, I hope we find our way back to each other. However, there were and still will be problems with us being together that may not be able to be changed. I still don't think we can do well together for a lifetime. I want to find someone that I don't question their loyalty and that fights for me. He disappointed me in both of those. He didn't fight for us like he should have. I realize he tried, but he didn't put everything he had into it after I worried him a bit. Instead, he distanced himself and found some new girl to hold his attention so he could break away from me. I don't care how she looks or "how mature" she is just because she's a few years older than me, she will never be better than me. It's possible that they may end up being a better match than him and I, but she will always be the girl who went after another's girl boyfriend and threw me under the bus when she doesn't even know me in order to get what she wanted. I will never respect that girl and if he ends up with someone other than me, I truly do hope it isn't her.

I know in time none of this will bother me, but I think it is best right now to be honest about my feelings and let them out. Not being rude or inconsiderate, just voicing my feelings to work through the achy, dull pain that is heartbreak.

As of right now, I hope my Schooby returns to me and realizes that he never stopped loving me. But if he does come back I know it's going to be a while from now and I hope that I am in a better place then to not let him treat me so poorly like he has before. I plan to take these next few months to find myself. Hefe and I are done and not on good terms, hopefully that can change and we can actually be cordial friends. Till next time.

Create your own happiness and share your love.